Tuesday, August 25, 2015

A Big Day

Today, I dropped all four of my college classes.  These were the last four to complete my AS in Accounting and move on to pursue my Bachelor's degree.

It was a farewell to that "dream" for me so I can focus my finances fully on IVF treatments.  Let's face it, $1800 in tuition and fees could put a small dent in my medication costs. And my priorities are baby related, not degree related. 

Last term I decided that I needed to focus my time somewhere productive so I was not depressed and lethargic at home. I took action and signed up for one class, fast track, second track, summer semester. Imagine putting 8 hours a week into class time and 15 hours a week into homework....on top of a full time job and some, albeit minimal, housework and cooking. I THRIVED!  But I was unhappy. I was busy, but still unfulfilled.  I got a B. Not too shabby considering I had a tumultuous month of emotions during that time. 

So in typical ME fashion I forged ahead, signed up for more classes, and they began this week.  But today I realized the cost of doing this versus the benefit of what I receive.  And they are a little lopsided.  Quite frankly they're equally lopsided on the baby decision. There is not an amount of money I would say is TOO MUCH to have a baby. There just isn't. 

You might say I'm the woman who will pay any cost to have a baby.  I'm the woman willing to forgo one dream for another. Life is surprising. Some of our biggest choices are too.