Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Tough Day...Need to Laugh?

Sometimes it takes all I have to get through the day.  And when I'm bummed, or feeling a little shaken from the stress, I look to laugh to get me through.

Daddy Bun is a saving grace for me.  He is the only man I know who would willingly put up with me and all my emotions and then volunteer to add Clomid to the mix!  What a trooper!

Daddy Bun FOR SURE!

I truly think this is relatable for me especially.  If you have Pinterest, don't follow me!  You would think I was pregnant already based on my boards of Baby Life Hacks and Nursery ideas...

And finally, I can't honestly say that I will TRY this but it has been an improvement since I left Facebook.

Already feeling MUCH BETTER!  Just a laugh can really improve your day.  And honestly, if I don't laugh I could cry, so it's better to costs you less in mascara!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

A Different Countdown

In TEN's my anniversary!  Daddy Bun and I will be celebrating our 13th anniversary!

This year, we are celebrating with a fishing trip to Little Harbor. This will be our Maiden Voyage on the boat since we had the Bimini top installed. I can finally go fishing!  I was so afraid to be stuck out there in the hot, hot, Florida sun with Daddy Bun...I just didn't want to annoy him with my classic "it's hot" complaints. But with the top, I can get in the shade and relax!  I just need an air conditioner and I'll be AWESOME!  

I'm excited to "get away" from it all just the two of us and it all comes the weekend before our consultation!  So we will have a relaxing weekend and then Project Little Bun commences! 

The Preliminary Paperwork AKA Two Hours of Questions about My Medical History

OK let's start....
Section One, Female Information, AWESOME...I am the female I should get all of these right.  Oh, I wonder if they give prizes for finishing quickly, I'm an over-achiever.  Imagine what I'm expecting from my eggs!

I think it's a little unfair to move the weight from 138 to 141....I'm somewhere in the middle of that, but I have to pick 141....the computer reminds me my BMI is 23.48, which is the very highest number in the "Healthy" category....I have a food grazing problem.  We will assess that later.

How long have you been trying to achieve a pregnancy?  Let's see I think I counted about 48 times I didn't get pregnant before I just gave up and said it wasn't happening.  The highest number allowed is 99, so if you've been trying for 100 months you don't get a prize.  I kept it at 48.

Thankfully I track my cycles so I pulled out my handy-dandy iPhone to complete the rest of that information!  I'm a clockwork kind of girl and my cycle is no different.  Sure they're crampy for the first few days but it levels off and I'm fine.  I just don't have any problems in that area that I am aware.  All my results from doctor visits are great.

Some of these questions could potentially be awkward to discuss if you haven't with your spouse so make sure you're prepared to discuss that little bout with the "clap" from Junior year at college if you have to....but I didn't.  I didn't have that little bout and I didn't have a Junior Year of college either...I am checking a lot of "NO" responses.  (I don't even know my blood type)

Do you know your blood type?

I completed the form and felt like I'd been historically violated!  I wonder what they're going to ask Daddy Bun!!

Can I just say that Fertility CARE has an awesome Patient Portal so I can pop in and view results, email the nurse, ask a question or even get instructions because you were not really listening...but only because you were picturing fertilized eggs in your mind. LOL

Monday, September 28, 2015

Two Week Countdown

As we round down these last two weeks pre-consult, I wonder what we face.  Will there be shots of hormones?  Will I go Clomid crazy?  Will it be IUI (think turkey basting)?  We will have to go IVF?  Can we do it without ICSI?  Is it wrong to ask the doctor, "Can you just take these eggs and this sperm and make a baby in the lab next door this week?"  We can wait right here...

What do you think...Microwave Society anyone?

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Holy 15 Days Batman

Yes it is a MESS!Since time is going by so slowly....just like that song from Ghost...I decided to focus on financing Little Bun.

Finance Focus Number One: YARD SALE! 

I have been busy gathering items from the house and pricing them (yard sale hint...price everything, no one wants to ask about prices at a yard sale). I have quite a collection of things to sell and we are a six days to the big sale. 

Here's a look at my guest room, currently dubbed Central Command. 

Look at all the loot!  I hope it all sells because I do not want to bring it home!  We will start Saturday morning and go again on Sunday if we don't sell it all. 

What a MESS!  Back to pricing! 

Friday, September 25, 2015

Hi Little Bun

Bob calls me Hunny Bunny. So I've dubbed Future Baby Maul....LITTLE BUN.

Hi Little Bun I'm going to be your Mommy someday!  You can tell all your friends that your parents vowed to eat Raman for life to have you!  

We love you so much and can't wait to meet you someday! 

And, if after IUI, IVF, FET and any other acronym they've created I still don't have you, I guess we will start over!  #teamnotgivingup

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Infertility Funnies

There will be tears. I'm an emotional chick. But there will be laughs because with me there are ALWAYS laughs! 

Here are some infertility funnies I saw today! 

18 Days Until the Consult

This photo epitomizes me at the moment

We go to consult in 18 days.  About 29% of couples have success at this, which isn't really fabulous odds.    I have fingers crossed because crossing your fingers always works right?  RIGHT??  Well cross your fingers too!!

Today I called Fertility CARE to see how to get our medical records over to their facility.  And it's a GREAT THING I CALLED!  I went through their website to book my appointment and guess what? They didn't get it!  There I was counting down the days to.....NOTHING.

I spoke to Jessica who hit me with the first monetary damages for this journey.  $250 to consult with Dr. Trolice.  Dr. Mark is one of the top RE's in the state so I knew I wasn't getting in for free!  And insurance coverage?

Insurance Covering This???

We don't have coverage for this!  Maybe there is some benefit for the diagnostic services but hey....guess who just rolled out of my insurance network?  You guessed it, Fertility CARE.

So now I rush off to Google Sheets to start tracking just how much this potential little bun in the oven is going to much will it take to have me eating for two?

The $250 Consult includes a little "package" and you meet with several departments within the facility to discuss options...and Oh the OPTIONS!  Medical Options.....Financial Options...we even get to meet with their Psychologist to discuss the emotional aspects of this.  I think that meeting will be super important for my husband, as I am often a roller coaster of emotions and JUST IMAGINE how throwing a bunch of hormones inside me is going to affect that!

But that's not all folks!  They would like to perform a know, they need to check out the goods...see what we are working with here.  And that diagnostic service is $200!  

So that's right folks, a $450 initial consult at Fertility CARE.  

That's your "Straight outta Lakeland and you ain't got insurance" rate or Self Pay as they've dubbed the cost.

Costs of Baby Maul so far, $450.
The 30 Best Someecards for Infertility + IVF | Babble:



Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Aunt Life

I picked up Reagan today for my friend and we took some pictures before we got home. I've been prepping Reagan for selfies but she really needs no help in that area.

First she hid from the camera...

Then she said, WAIT, let's take a selfie! Oh...okayyy Rea, we just tried that but go ahead! 

Reagan is never one to take ONE photo so she asked to take a scary photo. 

This was our scary face!

I love being an Aunt!  

19 Days to Go

In 19 days we are having our first IVF consult in Winter Park.  In 18 days I will drink my LAST COKE!  I am sort of a soda addict...Confession, I start every day with a Coke. It's a HORRIBLE drink, I mean you can literally clean your toilet with it and I'm sitting here at 9:00am gulping it down like its the water of life!
Love is all you need, and a COKE, ha! 

Lots of changes coming in the future for the Maul family, and I have to admit I am more worried about losing my morning concoction of sugar and caffeine than not getting a BFP when we start IVF.  We will get pregnant!  I just KNOWWWW ITTTTT!!!! 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Hey Y'all

20 Days and Counting I like to say...the shit is getting real!

Today I saw an old friend post a photo of her son holding her hand, he's just over a year old and it sure pulled on those heart strings!  What a sweet feeling to have a little person reach out to you like that, to need you, to look to you for guidance and!  What a great job to be a mom!  I can't wait for the opportunity to have that happen!  Hoping for that BFP!!! 

I stay very positive. I am hopeful and optimistic. I believe our minds decide for us a lot of things that happen in our lives and I've got my mind made up, I'm not giving up without a fight for this baby! 

Monday, September 21, 2015

Days Tick Down

Every day seems so long!  October 12 is around the corner and I just want it to GET HERE!!!

You see, I'm starting my fertility journey fresh....

I gave up having kids a few years ago. 

So I am back in that FIRST STAGE...The we are going to get pregnant elation....the start picking names and furniture excitement. 

The...oh my gosh is this baby stapler not the cutest thing? 

But I am realistic as well so don't shake your head in infertility journey pity. We spent 60 periods trying to get pregnant. But I just didn't get pregnant.  

So with a lot of hope and a lot of money, I anticipate the day I can announce a BFP! 

Friday, September 18, 2015

It's Been a While

It's been a week or so since I visited my IVF Blog and it's probably because I've been focusing on allowing myself time to grieve the loss of a friend.  It will just never be the same without her.  Life is fragile and friendships are voluntary.  It is what it is, and I must move on from it.

I digress.

I want so badly to become a mother, people look at me with raised eyebrows...aren't you a mother?Well yes, I've mothered two kids with their own parents for 15 years.  But in the end, I don't have what their parents have, I don't have that unconditional loving bond that you get when you have a baby.

It's hard to watch 15 friends get pregnant, I had to shut down my FaceBook because I was so overwhelmed with sadness when I saw another weekly pregnancy update photo or another catchy announcement...and it's hard to deal with the jealousy and envy I feel.

It's hard to look inside yourself and see emotions you don't want to feel.  It's hard to accept you feel jealousy toward someone you love.

I don't mean to be jealous.

I just want a baby to love.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Mark Trolice, M.D.

Today we decided to consult with Fertility CARE in Winter Park.  Sure it's a little haul for the Maul's but it is the closest of the Top Five Reproductive Endocrinologists (RE) in Florida.

Link to CARE Winter Park below if you are seeking a Central Florida RE.

This doctor says he will work with us until we bring home a baby.  And based on our fertility workups, we might have a chance for a FIRST TIME Positive!  How awesome would that be, to get it on the first try?  I'm an overachiever and this would be a time I would want to be first and with the best about just a positive result...yes, I will accept that.

OK breathe....I get excited too...this begins October 12!  OMG!!!!