Wednesday, October 28, 2015

You Want to Start Over??

One of the first things I hear when people find out we are TTC is....

"You want to start over??  Didn't you just finish raising kids?"

And the answer to that is YES!  Yes we do want to "start over" and it's kind of a slap in the face to hear that from people.  Yes we realize that  Daddy Bun's children are not children anymore.  There is a big chance our little bun, should we have a little bun, will grow up close to an uncle or an aunt because both of his children are old enough to make their own.  But should that alone deny me the chance to become a mother?  Should I suffer in silence because I married a man who had children before me?

Another one I hear is, "Just wait for grandkids, you can sugar them up and send them home."  Again I wonder, why should I settle for that, when we could have our own?  And I wonder, what the heck are you thinking because it's usually someone with children saying those words to me.  It's really easy to sit back and make that sort of call after you've had your own children.

It's really easy to say, just take one of mine for a weekend and that will "fix you right up" as if spending time with someone else's child would deter me from wanting to have a child.  How horrible is your kid that a mere weekend would make me change my mind on having children forever?  That may say something about the parenting and not the child.  I can honestly say I've never walked away from a baby or child thinking, NO I do not want to do that!  If anything, I celebrate the time I spend with other people's children and I think of it as a gift.

So yes, we do want to start over.  We are ready for this experience.  We are ready to share a child by blood and not by marriage.  There is one thing I know for sure, I will never offer my child to "fix up" another couple, I will never say, "You want to start over, are you crazy?" because YES I am crazy and YES I do want to start over.

I'm not scared!