Tuesday, December 1, 2015

CD1 and the Broken Foot

When I go, I really make an effort to go all out y'all...seriously!

Yesterday marked CD1, which means no Little Bun in the Oven this month.  We were not surprised at the BFN that came Sunday night but I was still a little bummed that our last effort at the old-fashioned way didn't produce the Hail Mary baby we wanted.  In fact Daddy Bun was a bit surprised I even spent the money to purchase a HPT but I am a true glutton for punishment and snuck down to Walgreens and spent the $17 which turned out to be a waste of money.  

Good news I did pick up some new gel eyeliner from Maybelline which has pretty awesome staying power for a drugstore brand.  I purchased one of these in black, called Sleek Onyx and it was a BOGO 50% Deal so I also purchased one for a friend who has issues with her eyeliner smearing throughout the day.  I'm sort of an eyeliner hoarder...OK FINE, I admit it, I am a makeup hoarder, mascara junkie, and eyeliner fiend.  If you're in the market for a drugstore brand that matches the quality of Urban Decay 24/7 liner, this would be a good competitor...in fact it's a little smoother and easier to apply.  OK that's my one makeup tip for today....back to the story!

So fresh off a BFN, my tears dried, consoled by Daddy Bun and prayers to God for peace and clarity, I set out to work Monday morning, determined not to be depressed and down.  I had a doctor appointment at 4:15 that afternoon so I set out a little early so I could sneak by our house and check my mailbox...I am also an online ordering addict and was expecting a package.  

FIRST MISTAKE: sneaking out of work early to check the mail.  If I had just stayed at work and left for the doctor on time, I would not be telling you this story today. 

I get home and pull in the garage and set off down my sloped 20' driveway to check the mail.  20' y'all, it's not a haul, not a hike, it's 20'...I get to the base of the driveway and I slip and crash to the ground.  When I slipped I heard a crack on my left foot...I landed square on my bum in the street.  I sat there for a moment stunned...looked at my short brown boots and thought well CRAP that was awkward.  I stood up and opened the mailbox...and it was EMPTY.  There was no mail.  NONE!  I started to trudge up the driveway...but my foot...it felt like splintering cracks along the bottom of it, a burning fire sensation that made me stop in my tracks. I thought, come on really?  I don't need this right now!  I had a doctor appointment and it's the kind you can't cancel without paying anyway.  Determined to go, I got back into my car. 

Driving would seem easy enough...except I drive a manual transmission!  I have Dodge Challenger.  She's a beauty...Charley is her name...Charley the Challenger.  She is bright blue because that is my FAVORITE color.  And she is a stick shift because let's be honest, who wants an American Muscle Car in an automatic?  Daddy Bun didn't even want Charley, until he took her for a spin...now he LOVES our car.  So, I press the clutch and the fire shoots up my leg...ARGHHHHH I literally scream in my driver seat...wondering how will I make it the 20 miles to the doctor in traffic...in an automatic.  For a moment I considered just skipping my appointment and paying anyway.  But I'm a trooper y'all!

I somehow make it to the clinic in blinding pain and while I'm aware they have free valet, I can't help imagining Ferris Bueller's Day off and some valet guys driving all over town in Charley, making leaps and going speeds even I haven't gone!  So I find the closest spot and hobble up to the second floor while my foot is screaming at me STOP WALKING...GET OFF ME...THIS IS TORTURE!  I check in at the appointment desk and she takes my BP, 153/95...HOLY WOWZERS!  That was high even for this white coat syndrome chick!  While I'm in with the doctor, the nurse calls for a wheelchair to escort me to urgent care.  I oblige and climb into the chair and proceed to be carted to Urgent Care...and you know what he did...he BUMPED my foot on the elevator door....I yelp in pain.  He felt bad though so I didn't reach up and smack him.  He also wanted to drive my car...I knew if he was in valet he would have been THAT guy, driving all over town in my car...and I was thankful I skipped valet.  

This is me, in the wheelchair, at Urgent Care.  I get a lot of compliments on my Wifey clutch which is still Available at Saks Off Fifth through THIS LINK and only $14.99!  What a STEAL!  I am a clutch-a-holic because I can fit so much in these little beauties and they're quick when I need to run into the store (which I won't be doing any running around right now)

They were super nice in Urgent Care and by then my BP has dropped to 145/93 and guess what, the nurse taking my vitals bumped my foot again...I was starting to wonder if everyone was in on some game called Bump the Bum Foot...but I smiled through the pain and told her it was OK (even though it was not, in fact, ok).  They took me to X-ray and took a dozen pictures in so many positions..one of them so painful that it made me scream "SWEET BABY JESUS"...literally!  The x-ray technician hadn't heard anyone holler for the Sweet Baby Jesus before...and he laughed...yea ha ha, laugh at the woman in pain!

Lo and behold, it was broken!  I said COME ON are you kidding me?  BROKEN!?  Yup, and here is a similar foot just so you can see where my break is...this foot already has a screw in it, and hopefully that will NOT be necessary for me, cause while I love screwing around, I don't want to be screwed!  The doctor put me in the loveliest orthopedic boot they had in stock, and I'm currently wishing I hadn't sold all my craft supplies in the Yard Sale because they would surely assist in dressing this bad boy up.  I am still going to work on it, maybe some rhinestones, a sparkly bow, some Christmas ornaments perhaps??  

I have an appointment on December 11 with the podiatrist to see how it is healing.  My crutches will be in tomorrow and I will no longer be banned to my bed.  My foot hurts, it's CD1 but I'm still smiling y'all.  Everything happens for a reason and I believe God was telling me to slow down, stop worrying about what is coming and focus on what is here right now.  And that my friends, is what I am going to do.  Exercise patience.  Slow down.  Enjoy life.  We should all take time to do those things.  

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12