Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Hunny Bunny's Sonohystogram


Today I was the lucky recipient of a sonohysterogram at FertilityCARE in Winter Park  (cue applause).  I made this appointment CD01 but they didn't actually get me entered in the system, so when I called last Friday freaking out about my missing appointment, they quickly shuffled me in at 9:45 today, just a few minutes later than my original scheduled...ahhh "unscheduled" time.  Of course I slept late, was slow getting ready on my crutches and had Daddy Bun drumming his fingers on the dashboard waiting for me to climb in the truck to go.

Before you do any procedure at FertilityCARE, they like to be sure there's not a bun in your off I went to sprinkle a tinkle to be sure.  Always difficult to handle a specimen cup while you're on crutches but thankfully there was NO SPILLAGE!  I am getting to be quite the speed demon on a pair of crutches.  And YES I have added leopard accents to my crutches to match my fabulous leopard post-op boot.

Ever had a sonohysterogram?  NO?  Let me give you a rundown!!  This is an EXCITING procedure, complete with a cervical wash, speculum, catheter, cervical cleaning, saline wash and the always improper transvaginal ultrasound!  Hey, it's always exciting to have someone shove an object in your lady bits and show you your insides right??  So prepare to strip down, enjoy the paper sheet and do what...JUST RELAX!  Isn't that what they always say?  I'm going to shove this condom covered jelly thing inside your body, please relax while I shove it around in there and look at your uterus and ovaries.  Here I am appearing to relax...what you can't see is my legs are clamped shut in fear under the giant sheet of toilet paper.  Smile pretty and let's start this show!

Mary comes in and evaluates my lady bits.  I've got a dominant follicle on the left this month, appearing currently at 17mm and getting larger.  My uterus is otherwise looking like the cuterus that it is!  Wonderful, she yanks out the device and says hang out here while I get Dr. Mark.  Uhhh...sure Mary, I am naked here with a broken foot, I won't be taking laps in the hallway...THIS WEEK ANYWAY!!

While I'm waiting, I like to entertain my hubby and myself.  I'm talented and can cross only one eye.  I wonder what Dr. Mark will think of my one eye corssing capabilities...I don't get time to ask him beucase when Dr. Mark comes in, I smell peanut butter.  He's been snacking on peanut butter!!  I have a nose for peanut butter and I looked around waiting for my spoonful...but he had none.  Can you believe the nerve of this guy, coming into my ultrasound room, smelling of peanut butter and not even sharing the delicious snack?  NOTE TO SELF...bring your own food.

He starts the process by asking if I've remembered my uterus today....thankfully yes I did remember it so he proceeded to insert speculum and clean my uterus.  I ask how many dirty ones he sees and he tells me they don't like to judge.  I hope I've got the winning one though...I'm competitive.

It's GO TIME y'all... in goes the catheter...sort of crampy feeling here but not as bad as the HSG (see that story HERE).  Once the catheter is in, out goes the speculum, THANK GOODNESS as Dr. Mark mentioned if we keep those we have to pay for them!  Everyone is standing around the ultrasound machine as he insert that stupid contraption again and starts to empty the syringe of saline water into my uterus....holy crap I can see it literally filling up!  My uterus is filling up with water right on the screen.  I'm like WHOAAA that is some crazy stuff right there!  But guess what didn't appear??  A polyp!


I'm shocked and excited...this means NO SURGERY!  Oh hayyyyyy, that is great news as I wasn't the least bit thrilled about having to have even the simplest outpatient procedure to remove it.  No worries, it's not there.  Perhaps a shadow...perhaps a prayer...perhaps a mistaken identity!  Perhaps a lot of things...but one thing is for sure, there is no polyp and Hunny Bunny is FULL STEAM AHEAD for a January IUI.

So what does this mean for Daddy Bun?  The man with the swimmers...the (hopeful) future father of my child?  The one on phone duty while I'm getting my insides examined?  We happily hobbled out of the office, once we paid the $700 fee for the water-sono and went back to the lab for his second of three SA's.

This SA included a test wash so we can see if IUI is definitely a procedure we want to consider.  In addition, a third SA examining the DNA of the swimmers is on order for next Wednesday.  Guess what, I didn't go this time.  I waited in the lobby because I thought it might be easier if I wasn't trying to document the experience and giggling at the sample room (AKA bathroom with VHS tapes and headphones).  We left knowing that in 24 hours we will have the results of the SA, the results of the sperm wash...and FINALLY....YES PEOPLE...FINALLY know what procedure we are starting in January.  It only took $4300 to get here (see How Much Does All This Cost for a breakdown).

STAY TUNED for an update on the SA and sperm wash to see what our next step will be!!