Monday, February 29, 2016

How is She So Positive?


I get a lot of comments on my InstaLife about my positivity and some people have asked me, Hunny Bunny, how do you stay so positive??!  I've been TTC for nine years now, I've never even seen a BFP on a pregnancy test and yet, here I am, still smiling and pushing through the mangled mess of infertility.  I bet it gets annoying to some people how much I shove the negative aside and keep pushing on.

Being positive is not easy y'all, but I have to recommend you always try to see the positive in the struggle.  I told someone the other day that happiness is a choice but it can be a difficult choice.  It is a choice to wake up in the morning and embrace the day, thankful to be alive and be able to even attempt to make a baby with science.  But it is just as easy to wake up and choose to focus on the fact I don't have a baby, that I'm not pregnant, that other people are living the exact life I want for myself and I DON'T HAVE IT.

The thing about me is this...I do get sad.  I do feel helpless.  I often feel lost and more often I feel ALONE.  Even though I KNOW I am not alone.  I have a supportive husband willing to invest in whatever it takes to get me pregnant.  I have a supportive boss who doesn't mind the weekly trips on the road to FertilityCARE which is a three hour round trip.  I have supportive friends who know what I'm going through and are willing to talk about it openly.  All of those things help me remain positive through the process, even if it results in a negative at the end of a cycle.  A negative is not a NO, it's a NOT YET.

I choose to believe that we will get pregnant.  

I choose to believe that there are worse things that could happen to me. 

I choose to believe that, above all else, God will see me through this journey and when I come out the other side, I will be changed. 
I'll be stronger. 
I'll be wiser. 
I'll be able to help other people on this road. 

When I'm feeling lost and alone and negative, I have a few tried and true methods to help get me back on track.  Check them out, perhaps they can help you too!


HUGS

I try to keep close to my hubby and I ask for lots of hugs.  They can't be quick and release hugs.  They must be at least 20 seconds and here is why...those hugs, the long, lingering I don't want you to let me go hugs release oxytocin into your body.  This combats depression and feeling alone and helpless.  A hug is like medicine and it's the best kind because it's FREE and it's easy to give and receive.  When you hug your spouse or partner, they are also releasing oxytocin.  This brings them closer to you as well.  Sometimes a hug will be just what you need to feel better.  Sometimes I hang on for too long, but my hubby doesn't mind.

DEVOTIONALS

I've been lucky enough to come across some wonderful women while TTC and some great groups of women who share their love for Christ which is just what I need in my life!  I am a part of She Reads Truth, which is an online community of women studying the Bible together...like a GIANT online Bible Study.  I get to read the Bible daily, follow along with a devotional each day, and comment and read other comments about the study.  This is available on She Reads Truth.  For $24 you can join their auto-ship and they will come right to your door each time a new devotional is released.  You can follow along online or on the SRT app on your phone.  It's helped me on my walk with God.  I canceled my monthly makeup subscription box for this service.  I have some friends struggling with infertility as well who are real warriors.  Their faith inspires me.  I like to follow them on Instagram and use their posts as a jumping point for my own faith.  One of my favorite bloggers is Caroline at In-Due-Time (http://in-due-time.com/) You see, Caroline and her husband Colby are struggling with infertility too, and she uses this struggle to strengthen her marriage and her relationship with God.  I'm often awestruck at the timeliness of her posts and the way I'm feeling in my life.  It's like God has sent me a gift in her blog.  I encourage you to check out her blog and SUBSCRIBE so her posts come right to your inbox.  You will not be disappointed!  It's people like Caroline who keep me positive in the struggle.  People who encourage me, who lift me up, who are able to see the joy in the struggle, people who have taught me that there is a reason and a purpose for this journey.

DANCE

I also like to dance it out, it's something I learned from Grey's Anatomy.  I have several songs that I use to dance it out but my all time favorite is "I will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.  That is because I will survive.  I've fallen apart, but I survived...and that is the beauty of this song.  On this road, you WILL survive.  I suggest perusing your digital music and creating a Dance it Out playlist.  You can also search this on the internet and you'll be bombarded by a plethora of musical choices and genres...or you can use my own list to get you going!

My Dance It Out Playlist:

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

Because I'm Awesome - The Dollyrots

I'm Letting Go - Francesca Battistelli

What You Waiting For - Gwen Stefani

Little Red Wagon - Miranda Lambert

Keeps Gettin' Better - Christina Aguilera

Grace Kelly - Mika

Brave - Sara Bareilles

Pick one, pick two, pick them all, and DANCE IT OUT.  Can't dance?  Me neither!  But it doesn't matter.  In fact, sometimes I dance it out in front of a mirror and amuse myself!  The point is to focus on the worlds, the beat, the music, as as you do...it drowns those negative thoughts right out of your mind.

GET OUT

Another tip I recommend is taking some quality time away from home.  Some of my darkest days were spent moping at home so I will get out and get away from the house.  I have been known to drive a few miles down the road and ride horses for an hour.  I like to grab lunch with my hubby and just hold his hands across the table.  I will call my girlfriends and go to a movie.  I go to the bookstore and check out the Best Sellers.  I'm lucky to live in a town with a lot of choices so these activities help me take the focus off the negative thoughts in my head.

I have found that if I read it out, hug it out, dance it out, or just get out that I can reclaim my positive thoughts and I feel BETTER.  Better about life and better about this battle with infertility.  Give them a try!

Do you have some ways to maintain your positive self?  Share them below in the comments!


Monday, February 22, 2016

Well CRAP...IUI Number Two Didn't Take

As most know already from my InstaLife, the second IUI didn't take.  Everything was perfect.  My lining was perfect, the follicles were perfect, the trigger shot was perfect, the IUI was 36 hours after trigger which is considered a perfect timing to do the procedure.  Sure my cervix was hiding and it was difficult to get the insemination complete, but it went without a hitch...it went PERFECTLY.
We did everything right.
But it didn't work.  


Why didn't this work for us?   
Should we try it again?  
How many times will we do this before moving on?  
Should we just move on?  
What if that doesn't work?  
Am I ready for that?  
Can I handle more BFN's?  
Is this unexplained infertility?  
Do I suffer from the question that has no answer?  
Why can't we get pregnant?


I had a good cry about it and then swallowed my tears and smiled through the sadness.  Because some days there isn't time to be sad.  Some days you have to push it down deep into your soul and pray that it doesn't surface until you're home safe.  I'm so amazingly awesome at wearing a smile, even if I don't want to.  Is it a gift or a curse?  I guess it depends on the day.  I have developed over years of practice the ability to appear to be okay.  In fact, I've gotten so good at it sometimes I even fool myself and it's only when I'm dissolving into tears that I realize, I am not okay.

It's hard to admit that I'm not okay.  It's hard to drop down the false exterior, the painted face and the smile to show the emptiness and agony coursing through my veins.  March will mark NINE YEARS since the reversal.  Nine years I've waited, wanted, hoped, prayed, and I'm still empty. My emotions have ranged from bitter sadness, defiant indifference, renewed hope, and a numbness that only those on this journey will understand.  It's like an open wound that will never heal.  A raw, open cut that runs deeper every cycle, every BFN.


But I have to remember that HOPE is the only thing stronger than fear.  

Hope is what guides me.
  
Hope is what stops these thoughts tumbling from my head into my heart.  

Hope is the force behind my perseverance.  

Hope anchors my soul.

So even on the days like today, when I'm feeling lost and alone and bitter and afraid, I will let them wash over me, but I refuse to allow those feelings to take over me.  

I refuse to accept anything less than hope. 

My life is far from perfect and my smile often hides the pain. But I will never lose hope again.  I will remain hopeful and I will be steadfast in my journey.  I will get to the other side of this.  Someday, I will say that we conquered infertility. 
















Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Why We Don't Violate the TWW Rules

Y'all I am going to be honest here, I failed the TWW challenge I setup for myself.  It seemed so easy...I made a clear list of things not to do in this blog post (HERE) and all I had to do, was NOT DO THEM!  Guess what? I failed it on CD10.  I was four short days from victory, so proud of my performance, my will to not Google had been strong this time.  I refused to search a single symptom...and who cares if I didn't actually feel a symptom to begin with?  I was still not using Dr. Google to check on why I wasn't feeling anything.  Four days from a resounding

"NO, I didn't Google anything and NO, I didn't POAS one time!"  

But the temptation was great.  The urge to POAS overtook me on Valentine's Day morning when I thought, how awesome would it be if we had a BFP today?  Isn't that worth a little violation of my TWW system?  Yes?  No?  Anyone?  I was in the bathroom staring at the test and the only people who could answer were, in fact, fur family members who follow me everywhere I go.  I looked down at those little wagging tails and thought, YES, the wags mean YES.  PEE ON THE STICK!  The little wags swished back and forth in eager encouragement.

So I broke, I POAS...and that sucker was broken.  Only one line appeared.  I stared at it, willing a second line to appear.  I demanded it in silence, eyes wide, my nostrils flared in annoyance.  Where did this test come from?  I will never shop there again.  Clearly, this thing is defective.  I squinted, no second line.  I held it up to the light and squinted harder, silently screaming at the test, I DEMAND YOU APPEAR LINE!!

But no second line came.  In a fury, I looked at my timer...it had been 64 seconds.


64 hours could have passed and I would have felt no different.  How could it have only been 64 seconds?  These things take up to five minutes to complete, so I must need to wait longer.  I assured myself it was not enough time to produce two lines.  I put the test on the counter and walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom and told my hubby we had purchased a broken test.  He asked if I wanted to return it.

Is this this working right?  I requested the TWO LINES!
Well of course I want to return it!  What kind of ludicrous question is that...you can't keep a defective test!

But wait, let me check the test again, after all I gave up after 64 seconds.  I forced myself to wait the full three minutes and returned to the bathroom and yanked the test off the counter, expecting to see the second line...or at least a faint second line...and NOTHING!

Again, I squinted, held it in the light, held it out of the light...was the light causing it to be defective?  Where are the instructions?  What do they say about putting it in the light?

I shook my head in disbelief at myself for storing it in the light...but alas, the instructions don't say that storing in light will affect the test...but WAIT, they don't say that it won't affect the test either!!  Hmmm...a real conundrum.

Hubby says that he is sorry, as he should be, because he bought this defective test!

After a proper mourning time over the test I threw it away in the trash, very violently, as I wanted to be sure that test KNEW how angry I was that it wasn't working...and let's be real, you can't return a stick after you peed on it, even if it's broken.  I'd have to find a different way to get my money back.

I considered calling First Response.  I mean, they must have this happen once or twice right?  A defective test?

But first, let me check the test one more time.  So I fish it out of the garbage and put it in the light...I squint...

Nope.  It's still broken!


How many of us have done this very thing?  The squinting, the trashcan digging, the denial.  This thing is broken right?  RIGHT??  No, I tested at 10DPIUI and in some very normal cases, that is, in fact, too early to tell.  Is it over?  No, it's not over.  But THIS my friends, THIS is why you should always follow the rules of the TWW...

NEVER Google your symptoms or lack thereof...and NEVER pee on a stick too early! 

    




Tuesday, February 9, 2016

The Stork Trials, A Final Review



It's HERE, it's happened!  The Stork Trials are officially complete!  And I have got some news for you!

First, let's cover the past.

You can read about the background behind The StorkOTC HERE.

Check out the difference between The Stork and an IUI HERE.

HERE you will find an unboxing of the stork and a detailed review of the product itself. 

And now on to what you have all been waiting for...a post use review of The StorkOTC.  Daddy Bun and I used The StorkOTC last Friday, the day after the IUI.

Did it work?  We don't know, we are still in the TWW.  But bear in mind, the point of this was to try the product and give you an honest opinion of it, pregnant or not.

Did we use both products?  No we didn't because we were only able to get one use before we were out of the "fertile window".  So we still have another Stork!

The Conceptacle, located inside the condom.
First let me tell you that there are some parts of the Stork I do not like and there are parts of the Stork that were so easy I was surprised.  Let's start with the hard part.  And that is getting a sample into the Conceptacle.  For those who don't know, the Conceptacle is the part of the stork that is inserted against the cervix.  The Conceptacle comes inside the condom-like sheath.  For us, this was the hardest part.

Why?  I had to divert to Daddy Bun on this one because he was the one trying to wear it.  The condom surrounding the conceptacle is thick and rubbery feeling.  The conceptacle fits inside the condom so you actually have two layers against the most sensitive part of the man junk.  In addition, this was very tight to wear.  This caused two issues, loss of circulation and loss of sensation.  For this reason, we chose to not wear it during intercourse.

This led to the second hardest part, which was HOW we were going to get the sample in there...wearing it would be easy, it deposits right into the Conceptacle.  But we weren't wearing it. One of our issues is volume, that added additional stress in that we didn't want to waste anything.  So here we are, staring at the small opening in the Conceptacle, and wondering the best way to get it there.  And we went with the Hail Mary, lets aim and hope it works.

Did it work?  Mostly.  

Did we lose some of the sample?  Definitely.

Do we have a better idea for next time?  We sure do!        
 
Next time, if we need a next time, we will use a specimen cup.  Why didn't we think of this before?  Because we intended to have Daddy Bun wear the condom.  We didn't have a specimen cup just lying around and we were not willing to use something that was not sealed and sterile.  Plus, who wants to add additional stress by running around the house trying to find something to put it in??  Not these Buns!

So here we are, with a sample in the Conceptacle and the Conceptacle wrapped in the condom.  How do you get it out??  Very carefully!  The Conceptacle is flexible and it was actually pretty easy to fold it closed to protect the sample.  Then you just roll the condom off and discard it.  It was quick and easy.  I have read where people have trouble with this and I just didn't get that.  Maybe I'm good at unrolling.  Maybe I watched the video 800 times.  But for me, this was an easy removal.

Next, you slide the Conceptacle into the cap holder, which is the purple part of the applicator.  To close, you just pinch it until it clicks.  Do not close the white applicator petals.  That's in the next part!

It was easy to click it closed, it didn't take brute strength or any fancy training.  Just put in and click!

Seriously, this is really easy, I know if you watch the video it can seem a little overwhelming but this is the easiest part of the process.  It's the Step ONE, TWO, THREE approach.  The Stork added these little raised dots on each step so you know you're using them in the right order.

STEP ONE, on the base of The Stork is a mechanism allowing you to PULL the applicator petals closed.  Pull the light purple part back and you will see the white petals at the top close around the cap.  You didn't think you were going to slide that thing in wide open did you?  NOPE!  So pull it back gently until you hear it CLICK closed.
 TA-DAAA!!! You've done Step One!  Don't start applause yet!



 STEP TWO, insert The Stork into the vaginal canal until you hit the wall of your cervix.  Now don't shove it up against the cervix and don't push until it's uncomfortable.  Just rest it against the wall and you will know it is in the right place because 1) it stops moving and 2) you don't feel uncomfortable.

Then, press the plunger tab with the TWO raised dots on it.  This will re-open the applicator petal so you can release the cervical cap.  Don't remove it yet!  There is still a step three!

You're holding this inside your lady bits, but you're almost done!


STEP THREE, press the cervical cap release button, it's got three dots on it.  This will release the cap from the applicator.  Now gently remove the applicator and the cervical cap will stay in place.

NOW you can do the happy dance!

What you don't see is the removal string as shown below.  This makes it easy to remove.  There's not wondering WHERE DID IT GO?  HOW DO I GET IT OUT?  Right there is the exit strategy!
And you literally can do the happy dance.  Because this is securely in place letting the swimmers do what they need to get to that egg.  You don't even have to put your legs up!!  I do recommend ten minutes of rest once you complete the process.  But I was able to fold my laundry and watch TV right side up without peering around two raised legs in the air.  WOOHOO!! 

I left that sucker in for six hours.  That is the max time they recommend.  So of course, I went with what was recommended.  I don't think it really needed to be left in that long, but I figured this is an experiment for us all, so let's hold out for the full time.    

So the Stork is done.  The process was about 75% easy and 25% difficult.  The hardest part for us was really getting a sample into the cervical cap.  But the rest was easy as 1, 2, 3!

Would I recommend it?  Yes, I would.  Even though the hardest part for me was getting it into the cervical cap, the remaining steps were simple and the negatives just don't outweigh the positives here.  The 1, 2, 3 approach worked.  The removal string is a plus and the fact I wasn't left legs up at the end was a BONUS!

The Stork is available at Walgreens where it hit some unfriendly reviews on the web...I just didn't have the problems mentioned AT ALL.  The product was fully functioning, there were no issues with a defective product.  In fact, I've seen several reviews where people are calling it a waste of money, but I wholeheartedly disagree.  It was NOT that hard to use.  It functioned just as it was designed.

There are instructions, videos, and a customer service line where you can call and speak to a HUMAN, a real live person who can assist with questions about the device before you even start.  The makers of The Stork are passionate about their product and they will help you with questions or concerns.  Some of the people you talk to have even used the product or been through infertility themselves.  

Try the Stork! I'm using it in conjunction with an IUI, which costs $1150 each time.  So I'm saving over $1000 by using it with the IUI.

I would like to thank The StorkOTC for allowing me to try this product free of charge and offer a full review.  This is my honest opinion of the product and my recommendation is based on the product itself and not the fact I received it free of charge.  I hope you all enjoyed the Stork Trials and the following along on this journey that Daddy Bun and I are taking, I encourage you to check out the links below for more information on The Stork!


Link to How To Video


Friday, February 5, 2016

Another Two Week Wait...What NOT to Do

Last cycle I posted a TWW blog giving some ideas of things to do to pass the time which is known to those TTC as the...


LONGEST TWO WEEKS 
IN THE HISTORY OF EVERDOM 

Find that post HERE.  I am currently in the TWW again following our second IUI so I've developed a list of things you should NOT be doing during that time period.  Some of these are obvious, some you might already avoid and some you might be mind blown that you didn't think of it before!

Let's begin, shall we?




NO SYMPTOM CHECKING

The first thing you don't want to do during the TWW is symptom check on Google.  I find this to be the most difficult thing to avoid during any TWW.  You feel a twinge in your lady bits...you notice a craving for something salty, you feel tired, your boobs hurt, you name the symptom and I guarantee that every person who got pregnant and who did not get pregnant had the exact same symptom.  So there is literally no way you will find a solid answer to your symptom checking and in fact you might tumble into the rabbit hole of symptoms and before you know it, you've manifested symptoms you read on Google that aren't even really symptoms.

This journey is different for every single person who travels it, and the last thing you want to do is hang your hopes or your disappointments on what someone's best friend's sister's cousin felt when they were 3DPO.  I know it's easy to say I'm not going to symptom check on Google, I say it every month.  And then I find myself, alone in my office or in my bedroom...I look left, I look right, I'm in the clear....I open Safari on my iPhone and BOOM....1,237,999 hits on that fluttering feeling in my ovary.   But alas, someone felt the exact same thing and didn't get pregnant...so I am out.  

Wait what?  Someone didn't feel it?  Someone did feel it?  Both ended up not pregnant...or both ended up being pregnant...so how do you know?  YOU DON'T!  You cannot know until you pee on that stick and see one or two pink lines...which brings me to no-no number two...

NO PEEING ON STICKS

To pee or not to pee THAT is the question.  Y'all, I spent over $60 on pregnancy tests last month...yes, LAST MONTH.  And what did it give me?  a trash can full of BFN's.  The first box Daddy Bun and I bought together.  The second box I bought on my own and the third box I actually SNUCK INTO THE HOUSE so Daddy Bun didn't think I was crazy.  Y'all if you have to sneak pregnancy tests into the house because you don't want your person giving you the side-eye, it's not a good idea...and YES, I did that.  GUILTY as charged.

And every time I peed on a stick, my heart raced, I stared for what felt like ages, willing a line to appear.  I would hold it in the light, take it outside, turn off the light, look away for a minute, study it some more.  It's NEGATIVE Bun, LET IT GO like Elsa in Frozen.  Oh yes, and I do go back and grab it from the trash can and stare again, as though it might have changed by some miracle.

It's hard because there are some people that pull a BFP 8DPO.  SO you should too right?  WRONG!  This journey is different for everyone.  That means you too!  I could quote 17,000 posts from BabyCenter where 8DPO was a negative and 9DPO was a positive...or 9DPO was a negative but 10DPO was a positive...and so on.  So what do you do?  More like what DON'T you do?  DON'T PEE ON A STICK.

Wait the full 14 days.  And this is almost as hard, if not harder, that not symptom checking.  So let me tell you how to do it.  DO NOT, under any circumstances go to a drugstore.  Just don't do it.  The temptation is as real as the struggle y'all.  If I go to Walgreens, I'm buying a test.  So for the next two weeks, if I need something from the drugstore, I'm not going.  Daddy Bun will have to go.  And if it means I have to take a photograph of what I need to make sure he get's it right, so be it.  Imagine sending your person for eyeliner for a second...can you imagine the time and agony they would feel if they had no idea what to get.  Get me some eyeliner honey...liquid, pencil, gel, Revlon, Maybelline, black, blackish-brown, navy....OH MY HECK, I don't even want to know what he would come back with...I digress.  My point is the best way to avoid peeing on a stick until it's time is to KEEP THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE.  The best way to avoid buying them before you need them is to AVOID PLACES THAT SELL THEM.  Y'all I am a sneaky shopper so I have to be very perseverant with these rules this TWW.  I refuse to test until 13DPIUI...yes you read that, I'm not waiting 14 days.  What a shocker...I'm such a rebel, even for my own advice.

Last cycle I started at CD8....CD9...CD10....CD11....CD11 again....CD12....CD13 I strated spotting...so just do your best to avoid this on the TWW.

Now, moving on to another no-no...

DO NOT CHANGE YOUR NORMAL ROUTINE

Well, unless your normal routine is binge drinking and 12 cups of coffee per day...I mean seriously, y'all a cup of coffee or a coke is not going to ruin your chances during the TWW.  Am I a doctor, HECK NO y'all!  I don't want to rule over any advice you've been given from a trained physician.  But I gotta be real with you...a run will not shake the embryo loose from your uterus.  If you like low to moderate exercise, keep doing it.  If you run a mile a day, good for you!  

If you see me running though, you better run too because there is something chasing me! 

There are so many people who change everything during the TWW in their daily routine for fear that something will go wrong.  If you're someone who suffers from recurrent losses, I completely understand why you might prefer to not do anything during your TWW.  But for some of those TTC, they find themselves wondering, can I have that glass of wine?  Should I run today?  Is doing that workout video a good idea?  Should I go in the sun?  Should I have that coffee?  Should I eat that taco?  It can be OVERWHELMING!  And what does that lead to?  The next no-no...

DO NOT GET STRESSED ABOUT IT

Let's be real, most of what I've covered are actually stress inducing things.  Will knowing if you're pregnant or not one day sooner benefit you when you're TTC?  Will Googling those symptoms give you relief or more anxiety?  Stress is harmful to your body.  Stress is one thing you want to make sure you avoid during the TWW.  So how do you avoid being stressed?  What can you do?  I've comprised a small list of things, as well as shared the link to my Blog Post on things you CAN DO during the TWW to help pass the time and keep yourself occupied!   

De-Stress Activities:
Take a Walk
Watch a Comedy
Try Yoga
Breathe Deeply
Coloring



These are just a tiny taste of things you can do to avoid stress during the TWW.  Do you have some ideas?  Share them below!  

Also, check out my typical TWW activities HERE







IUI #2 Complete

Yesterday we completed our second IUI at FertilityCARE in Winter Park.

This was me before we made the 1.5 hour trip to Winter Park.  I sported some awesome good luck items on this IUI.  First is my "I Can Do This" shirt from TTCGreetingCards.  Kristy was recently featured on ABC News for her inspiring and encouraging products!  Here is a LINK to that article where she is featured for her amazing cards, shirts and even LUCKY socks!  HOW AWESOME that one of my favorite sellers was featured on ABC!!

I'm also wearing my Dreamlinks Toggle Ombre Knots Bracelet which is both pink and blue.

And my FAVORITE charm was my Baby Bun bracelet.  Handmade by my sis-in-law and niece Ruby.  It's such a thoughtful and sweet gesture.  They live all the way in Mississippi which is too far to just take a quick trip to see them and I miss them so!  They're special to me and I adore my lucky bracelet from them.


We arrived that the lab at 9:30 so Daddy Bun could do his part of the equation.  I can tell you that Daddy Bun is not a fan of being the man behind the sample.  The sample room is a bathroom, one door away from the lab itself.  The room has a small 13" TV/VCR combo (yes you read that right, there are still VCR's out there) with oversized headphones covered in sterile paper muff-covers.  There are about five archaic VHS tapes in a drawer, and under that is a selection of some almost 20 year old Playboy magazines.  No lubricating assistance is allowed.  It's really not the best environment to provide a quality sample.  It's just NOT.  This is a pet peeve because I think he should be as comfortable as I am when we are doing these procedures.  After all, without this part of the equation, there is no need for the IUI at all.

On top of it all, Daddy Bun has been terribly sick this week.  He's been on a myriad of cold medicines and I've been staying as far away from germies as possible hoping not to catch whatever sniffles he's picked up.

This time we put 8 million swimmers in my lady bits.  That's up a half million from last month's effort.  The motility however, declined from 93% to 50% and is likely because the swimmers were doped up on cold medicine for days prior to the IUI.  Our volume was up from 1.5 to 2.6 but the viscosity was still high.  So we are still unsure of the changes that have come about from the Clomid regimen.  I will have to keep you all posted on the Clomid use as far as count and motility.  We were happy to see his T levels returned to normal after just three weeks on the meds.


When we finished the sample, we had about 1.5 hours to wait around before the IUI.  So we took a trip to TJ Maxx to use a gift card from my TTC Sister Jess.


Jess sent me a care package last cycle and it arrived just in time to comfort me after the first IUI ended in a BFN.  I truly believe in God's timing as this package was filled to the brim with thoughtful surprises to encourage and support me.  As we strolled through TJ Maxx I couldn't' help by take a peek at the baby items and I was excited to touch and feel soft fuzzy blankets, both pink and blue and neutral grays.  I am always drawn to grays and neutral tans with soft touches of yellow and aqua.  I settled on some cozy slippers to enjoy my TWW and a canvas print for Valentine's Day that said "All of me loves all of you".

Hubby loves that song and thinks of me when he hears it so it was a perfect addition to the house.  I have to again thank Jess for being such a thoughtful friend!


Waiting is the hardest part!
We arrived back at FertilityCARE right on time but they had no rooms available to do the IUI.  We had to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  As each minute ticked by I felt like my chances of getting those swimmers to the egg were just deteriorating.  I fretted, I worried, I googled...how long will they last?  How long is too long in a vial?  Almost 40 minutes passed before they called our name to come and make sure we matched the sample.  They like to be sure at FertilityCARE so you have to verify the names on both the specimen cup and the vial...thankfully it was ours!

Finally it was time for IUI #2.  As we entered the room, the nurse handed us our post wash information.  8 million post wash count with 50% motility.  We were not exactly cheering for the numbers but we were thankful nonetheless.  Thankful to be there.  Thankful for the chance to try again.  Thankful that we were able to afford the second round.  Thankful for each other.







As Amy, the IUI nurse, entered the room, we prepared for the IUI.  And GUESS WHAT....she couldn't find my cervix.

 Again.

She got out the "other" speculum.

Again.

And y'all she really moved a lot of things around down there whilst looking for my cervix.  She tried, and tried, and was almost ready to call for backup...I was like wow, come on cervix, this is no time for hide and seek!  It was uncomfortable and I felt achy and a little pained by the time she found it.  WHEW, she did find it though and within seconds she was done.  She removed the speculum which was causing the discomfort and wished us luck.




My friend Destiny had an FET this week and she rode home in the back seat laying down.  I took note and rode home in the back seat, laying down and slightly elevated.  I was able to sleep for about 45 minutes while I hoped and prayed that one, just one good swimmer would make it to the end.

We only need one.

Just one.

One.

Monday, February 1, 2016

The Stork Trials are BACK

Did you know, did you know, did you know....that I'm amidst the Stork Trials?  Well did you??  If you didn't know and you're not caught up on the "sitch" let me direct you to the Stork Section on my blog:

The Background - Who the Heck are We and Why did they Pick Us?

The Good Stuff, What is it?  How is it different?  Where can I get one?

Unboxing The Stork - See it, Read How it Works, We Take it Out of the Box!

What, you don't want to read three blogs?  Well you're missing out but if you're lazy like me and want the quick recap, here it is in 50 words or less.

We were gifted two Stork OTC at home insemination kits to try on our journey to make a little bun in the oven.  We were chosen because we suffer primarily from MFI.  We were going to try The Stork in January but put it on hold while we tried our first IUI.  Well that was a BFN!  So this month, we are going to stack the deck.  We will be doing an IUI and we will be using BOTH of the StorkOTC kits after the IUI.  Then I'll be posting a REVIEW and Final Thoughts on The StorkOTC

So when is this going to happen??  Let's get the rundown on the calendar of events!

Tuesday, February 2 at 11:00pm - Ovedril Trigger Shot 

Thursday February 4 at 11:00am - IUI Round 2

Friday February 5 - The Stork Trials BEGIN

Saturday February 6 - The Stork Trials CONTINUE

Sunday February 7 - THE SUPER BOWL!!  

Wait....what?  The Super Bowl??  I'm just going to skip over the Stork Trial Blog Update and watch the Super Bowl??

YES....YES I AM....Friends, I love you and I want to share this journey with you...but it's the Super Bowl.  So I cannot promise an update and FINAL REVIEW on the StorkOTC on Sunday.  I will definitely have the update and final review of the product completed on Monday!  So sit back, grab some pom juice and pineapple core, and let's see how this Stork flies!

Can't wait to see how it works?  Check out THIS video over at The StorkOTC to see how it can help you make your little bun too!

Now I promise you this...you will get a review, you will know what I thought, but you will NOT be seeing my lady bits or hubby's man parts!  Those are reserved only for the RE, the IUI nurse, the Ultrasound Tech and the Urologist...LOL!  I think enough people we don't know have seen more of us than we care to share!!


**Disclaimer, I was provided the StorkOTC for free to try out and provide an honest review of the product.  All opinions are 100% Hunny Bunny.**